Day nine: Tuesday, December 19, 2006.
Tough day. I went early to building 700 with the copy of my travel orders in hand. I received them last night via email, after the TOPS system wouldn't let me in to retrieve them automatically. Can't help but feel like there is a conspiracy afoot when the official systems don't work using the same log-in that has always worked before. Anyway, I went to transportation and handed over my orders and asked for a pack out tomorrow -- Wednesday. The woman there was astounded at my request and declared it unlikely to be accomplished. When I told her my ID card is to be turned in on Friday -- leaving me no means to get the packout done otherwise, she managed to move mountains.
The car is a different matter however. I cannot ship it until the 9th of January. I just have too much to do still. and I will need it up until very shortly before I leave. But, again, I'm suppose to turn in my ID on Friday. And my orders have the wrong block checked for shipping. Instead of marking the ship to CONUS, the ship to OCONUS block is marked. I guess I can go to Canada and pick it up there? A quick conversation with the car shippers confirms I have to have my ID card to ship the car. I'm not sure how that will work. I plan to call the Inspector General tomorrow to see if the demand for my ID card doesn't constitute some sort of "foreign abandonment" (for lack of a better term). Maybe someone with more military experience can advise me, but it seems to me that if my "commanding officer " forces me to leave my personal belongings here, he becomes personally responsible for seeing to the safe return of my property? Sort of a due diligence and reasonable care responsibility? I put in a request for an amendment to the orders -- bet it is sent to me through the system that I have already informed HQ I can't access.
I seem to keep slipping into focusing on the negative. It's pretty hard to see what has happened as much else. Talking with my son today, I apologized for us being so unexpectedly booted from job and country. He was very giving in response, saying he was very sad at what has happened as well. That's pretty good support from a usually recalcitrant teenager. I continue to be amazed and so reassured by the words of encouragement from my students and their parents -- and now my son. With the packers arriving tomorrow the situation does take on a sense of hopelessness. It makes me angry to continue hearing that the administration and the district superintendent have so little regard for the questions from the community whom they are assigned to serve. It is one outrage to treat an individual with contempt (no excuse either...) but to dismiss the voices of the community with a metaphorical shrug of the shoulders and an arrogant dismissal, borders on malfeasance.
I asked a Wise man today, to remind me how to move past all this anger. He noted that what I need to focus on is taking care of myself. The anger, as I know well enough but can't seem to remember, eats away at self-confidence and a sense of purpose beyond just one's self. And it the physical impact is real enough! I've had a headache for more than a week. It seems there is nothing I can do to change what has happened. Indeed, it seems we are all powerless in this matter. Students have asked me, if this was to turn around by some miracle, would I really want to stay, given what has happened? My answer is always YES. I can ignore all the school politics because my focus is on my students and this community. That having been taken from me, I have little choice but to focus solely on myself and my son and try to rebuild both my spirit and our options.
With the packing frenzy going on here for the next couple of days I have shut down the guestbook. I won't have time -- or a network connection soon enough -- to maintain it. I will continue to write each day and to look and hope for your continued support. I'm not yet sure where I will be on Christmas, but I will have my son with me and that will be a cause for celebration no matter any other circumstances. Regardless of your personal beliefs, religions, or faith, I wish each of you a joyous holiday season. My students have often asked me what one wish I would ask for if there was a certainty it would be granted. My answer, perhaps predictably, is for peace of earth. I reckon that has to start with peace in the hearts of us all. Until tomorrow, my friends.
Quick Monday funny update. My son arrived back from the states today. He was in the U.S. getting his driver's license. On entry to the country and aware of what our future here looks like -- short! He brought back an empty dog crate to ship a dog home in and two suitcases stacked inside a third, larger suitcase for us to pack our traveling clothes in. He had a funny time at customs. First the officers asked for the paperwork for the dog.... When there was no dog he was taken to a searchroom and asked to open his suitcase. He did, but of course it was empty except for another suitcase inside it. He was asked to open that one too. It was empty except for a third suicase nested inside it.... He opened that one and there was his day pack with a few books and personal items, but no clothes. After thoroughly searching his day pack and finding nothing, everyone thought it was quite funny.
